Tides of Regret a story by Claude about beer, swimsuits, ennui, sand, and regret The man sat on the cooling sand and watched the sun bleed into the ocean. Empty bottles of Tecate lay half-buried around him like the bleached bones of small animals. The beachgoers had gone leaving only their footprints and the memory of their laughter hanging in the salt air. He reached for another beer and popped the cap against the edge of the weathered beach chair. The metal bit into his palm but he barely noticed. The pain was nothing compared to the dull ache that had taken up residence in his chest. He took a long pull from the bottle and let the bitter liquid wash over his tongue. It did nothing to quench his thirst. He turned his gaze to the horizon where the last vestiges of daylight clung to the sky. A group of young women in bright swimsuits walked by laughing and he watched them with a detached curiosity. Their joy seemed alien to him a relic of a time long past. The sand shifted beneath him as he reached for another beer. He thought of all the decisions that had led him to this moment. Each one a grain of sand piling up until they formed the dunes of his regret. He had come here seeking something. Absolution perhaps or maybe just oblivion. A cool breeze stirred the air and he shivered. The woman approached from his left her feet leaving shallow impressions in the wet sand. She stopped a few feet away and looked down at him. Got another one of those she asked. He wordlessly handed her a beer. She took it and sat down beside him. For a long while neither of them spoke. The waves crashed against the shore in an endless rhythm. He thought about how the tides were like the passage of time. Always moving always changing yet somehow always the same. You come here often the woman asked. He shook his head. First time. She nodded and took a sip of her beer. The foam left a mustache on her upper lip and she wiped it away with the back of her hand. In the fading light her skin looked pale and ghostly. What brings you here she said. He considered the question. The truth was he didnt know. He had woken up that morning with an overwhelming urge to see the ocean. To stand at the edge of the continent and stare into the void. Maybe he thought he would find answers in the depths. Maybe he just wanted to disappear. Needed to get away he said finally. The woman nodded again as if she understood. Maybe she did. Maybe everyone carried the same weight. The same regrets. The same longing for something just out of reach. The sun had fully set now and darkness crept across the beach. In the distance the lights of the boardwalk flickered to life. The sound of music and laughter drifted on the wind. A world apart from where they sat. He stood suddenly his legs unsteady beneath him. The woman looked up at him questioningly but he didnt meet her gaze. Without a word he walked towards the water. The wet sand sucked at his feet with each step. He didnt stop when he reached the edge of the surf. The cold water shocked his system as it soaked through his clothes but still he pressed on. Hey the woman called out. What are you doing. He ignored her. The water was up to his waist now. Each wave threatened to knock him off balance. He could hear the woman shouting something else but her words were lost in the roar of the ocean. He took another step forward and then another. A lifeguard's whistle cut through the air. Sharp and insistent. He paid it no mind. The water was at his chest now. He could feel the current tugging at him. Urging him further out. He took a deep breath and submerged himself completely. Underwater everything was muffled and dark. He opened his eyes and saw nothing but blackness. For a moment he considered staying there. Letting the ocean claim him. But something pulled him back to the surface. Some instinct for survival he thought he had long since lost. He broke the surface gasping for air. The lifeguard was shouting at him from the shore. The woman stood at the water's edge her arms wrapped around herself. He turned and began to swim back. Each stroke was a struggle against the current. His waterlogged clothes weighed him down but he pushed through. When his feet finally touched the bottom he stumbled onto the beach. He fell to his knees in the sand breathing heavily. The woman approached cautiously. Are you okay she asked. He nodded unable to speak. The lifeguard jogged up to them his face a mask of concern and irritation. Sir you cant be swimming out there at night. Its dangerous. He nodded again. Sorry he managed to say between breaths. The lifeguard looked at him for a long moment then shook his head and walked away. The woman stood there watching him. He could feel her eyes on him but he kept his gaze fixed on the sand. Why'd you do that she asked finally. He looked up at her. In the darkness he could barely make out her features. She could have been anyone. Everyone. I dont know he said. It seemed important at the time. She nodded as if she understood. Maybe she did. He stood up slowly his clothes dripping onto the sand. The night air was cool against his wet skin. He shivered. You should get out of those clothes the woman said. He looked down at himself and laughed. A short humorless sound. Yeah he said. He walked back to where theyd been sitting. The woman followed. He picked up a beer from the sand and opened it. The taste was familiar comforting. He took another long drink. The woman sat down beside him again. They watched the waves in silence. The moon had risen casting a pale light across the water. In the distance a ship's light blinked steadily. Coming or going he couldnt tell. You gonna be alright she asked after a while. He considered the question. Yeah he said finally. I think so. She nodded and stood up brushing sand from her legs. Take care of yourself she said and walked away. He watched her go until she disappeared into the darkness. He turned back to the ocean. The eternal cycle of the tides echoed the human condition. Ebb and flow. Joy and sorrow. Life and death. He opened another beer and settled in to watch the night unfold.